The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Monday

Hey Hey!  It’s been a very long time since I actually had the time to sit down to post.  So much has happened over the past several weeks and I can’t wait to share it all with you, my favorite Milk Free Mama supporters, but first, a rant and rave about my Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Monday…

As a mom, I’m no longer allowed a case of the “Mondays.”  In fact, half the time, I don’t even realize it is Monday until the school bus arrives (or drives right by!).  No, “Oh I think I’ll call in sick to work today because I feel like it” moments.  I’m a mom and as other moms know – you’re on 24/7!

So here we go… I woke up still feeling quite exhausted, but I was greeted with smiles from all three kids, which was a nice way to start the day.  Unfortunately, I was out of my homemade granola, so my mood wasn’t as cheery as usual.  Fed the kids, changed diapers by force, yelled at everyone to get dressed, you know, the usual morning routine of organized chaos and rising blood pressure.  But it escalated from there.

My husband’s hours have changed at work so he’s now leaving a half hour earlier than we’re used to.  Between his morning shower and walking the dog, I was screwed out of my three minutes to brush my teeth and wash my face in peace.  Hmph!  My middle refused to get dressed, my older one conveniently kept forgetting to put his socks on for school, and I was still in my pajamas with a list of things to get done and less than ten minutes to get my oldest out the door and less than forty minutes to get my little ones loaded into the car.

I checked the time and realized I had a few minutes to spare before we had to head out to the school bus.  And then I heard that familiar screeching noise, you know the one that sounds like brakes that need oiling.  The next thing I know, the school bus is driving down the road.  I try to make it out the door, but it’s too late.  He’s missed the bus… Now what?  School starts in ten minutes, my middle son is naked, my oldest son still has no socks on, I’m still in my pajamas sans makeup, and the baby is…wait, where is the baby?  Oh right, he’s in the crib playing where I left him when I made a run down the steps to catch the bus.  Well the baby still needs to be nursed, so doesn’t look like we are leaving anytime soon.  I resign myself to the fact that my oldest dude is just going to be late to school, which beyond frustrates me since we have been up since 6 am.

I struggle to get everyone dressed and the fight continues.  My oldest hits my middle.  My middles screams.  My oldest dumps all of his LEGOS.  My middle screams for a snack.  The baby is screaming.  Still no socks on my oldest, my middle is now dressed, but refusing to put on his sneakers, and I still have to make lunch.

Finally, the baby is in the car seat (and dressed up adorably since he’s 10 months old today – hold crap!), but crying.  My middle is still screaming about his shoes, my oldest is repeating the same story about his brilliant invention over and over until I literally can’t hear my own thoughts over all of their collective noise.  And then the dog starts barking. FML!

I go out to load everyone into the car and lo and behold I met by a pound of sand from the beach yesterday that splatters all over me.  FML!  I run inside to get the vacuum cleaner and of course it separates and part smashes on my foot.  Fun times.   I start screaming on the top of my lungs at who knows who.  My new neighbors must think I am insane.  The kids are quiet and my oldest says, “Mommy, are you ok?!”  “NO!!!!  I AM NOT OK!” – Haha – great morning.

The day didn’t get much better.  I got yelled at by the lady in the kindergarten office for not notifying the school of my son’s lateness.  Apparently it’s a safety issue and they need to have all kids accounted for.  Didn’t seem to be the case on the first day of school when they lost my son on  the bus route and no one knew where he was….Just sayin!  I was so late to nursery drop-off that I had to skip the baby’s music class and wound up in the later class.  Got to see some friends I haven’t seen in a while and the baby had a blast, so at least that was a bright spot.

I had a momentary lapse of normalcy when I took the baby for his 10 month check-up and the doctor said he looks fantastic.  I even have permission to slowly introduce some formerly forbidden foods back into my diet to see how the baby reacts.  WOW!  Kind of excited bout the nuts, but no interest in anything else at this point.

I decided to run over to the bank after the doctor and I was at a left-turn signal at a major intersection.  Another car, coming from the opposite direction was actually stopped in the middle of the intersection, so I was a bit afraid to pull right into the intersection when the light changed.  Well that didn’t work for the guy behind me who started honking wildly and subsequently followed me into the parking lot of the bank.  I parked and realized he parked not too far from me.  He got out of his car, looked at me, continued walking while saying “Stupid b*tch learn how to drive you stupid piece of sh*t.” OH MY!  If I hadn’t had the baby in the car I would’ve unleashed the wrath of mommy fury on his ass, but I thought better of it, cuddled the baby, and skipped into the bank, happy that I am not a miserable person like that foul-mouthed man.

The kids were wild, but cute the rest of the day.  But let’s not pretend the horribleness ended there… I wish.  I had my middle tucked in and went to say goodnight to my oldest when I stepped into a pile of wet carpet.  Of course, my middle peed on the floor – obviously the horrible day was not destined to end just yet. I then had the baby completely asleep only to trip over a Disney talking toy and the next thing you know it’s singing and the baby is screaming.

I think it’s just about time I go hide under the covers and pray for Tuesday.

And to bring a smile to all our faces, I’l leave you with this beautiful moment:



More to come soon.



Milk Free Mama